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The Zombie Apocalypse

8 Nov

  

Have you ever had a time or experience that just seems so odd, so strange, that the first reaction of an open-mouthed crinkled confused face simply turned into uncontrollable laughter? No? Only me?Well imagine this: Autumn is in full swing, and the Thanksgiving magazines are on all the newsstands and in all the grocery store check-out lines. Glowing turkeys seem to smell off the page. Commercials of family gatherings bring comforting memories, and all the Halloween candy has fulfilled its sugar-high destiny. Pumpkin Spice candles are lit on dining room tables in houses feeding families with acorn squash gratins, kale casseroles, and Cornish game hens.   

Sounds about perfect, right?  

Then, as these wonderful people walk outside, they are hit by something horrible – it’s sticky and heavy and a vomitus wave overcomes them. Crawling into their cars, they find they are lucky if their air conditioning is still turned to full blast from the day before. The outside thermostat screams: 93 degrees. The weather channel app beep, beep, beeps from the phone: Weather alert: Feels like 95 with humidity. Then, as if called to ridiculousness, the sounds of the holidays – Bing Crosby, et al – start singing their Christmas comfort on the radio.

What?  

Cue the uncontrollable-what-is-going-on-did-I-wake-up-in-a-summer-time-machine laughter, for this is dissonance at its best. Forget El Nino, Global Warming, or any other weather mumbo jumbo. There is only one explanation for this. 

Zombie apocalypse.  

Yes, zombie apocalypse. So much for that brand new scarf I worked so hard on knitting.  

Ok, ok. I am obviously kidding about the zombie takeover, but the absurdity of it certainly parallels the fact that while White Christmas is playing in the background, it is SUMMERTIME here is Jacksonville.  

So, as the rest of the nation is going outside to enjoy the foliage, pick apples, walk through the leaves, snuggling in scarves and warmed by hot cider, we are doing exactly what we do in the hotness of summertime: staying indoors.  

While I cannot control the weather outside, I can surely control the inside temperature. Call me crazy, but if that means turning up the AC to put on a sweater, gosh golly I’m doing it. I’m also going to keep my Pumpkin Spice candle lit, and I’m going to have something delicious in my belly.  

So there.  

One of the biggest treats of the season has to be all those crazy coffee drinks that pop up. Pumpkin, peppermint, spice, even eggnog makes its eclectic appearance. But loaded with who-knows-what-kind-of-too-sugary-syrup (and is there really egg in my coffee?) mysteries, I’ve decided to come up with my own. I actually started to develop this when Rob was deployed. When he is home, my wonderful husband makes me coffee every morning. It is one of the best parts of my day. When he is gone, that little detail makes me miss him that much more.  

So, as I started to try and make my own coffee to be as delicious as his, my first big change was switching from sugar to honey. Really, the initial reason was to try and alleviate some seasonal (ha!) allergies, but as I measured my heavy teaspoon of good, local honey, I found it added such a richness, such an earthy sweetness – not cloying at all – that turned me into a Java Pooh Bear. What better to make this new-found coffee experience even better? Beat out all those expensive, PSL drinks with some homemade pizazz: Thus, the Cinnamon Honey Almond Coffee was born.    

Cinnamon Honey Almond Coffee

(makes 1 unbelievably delicious cup)

Brew your favorite caffeinated or decaf coffee (I like a French press, or an Americano-style espresso). Add 2 tbsp of unsweetened almond milk. Add a good tsp of local honey (the sweetness varies with the flower; wildflower tends to be very sweet, orange blossom has a citrusy note to it, tupelo, buckwheat, sage, and palmetto have earthy flavors). Add ¼ tsp cinnamon and a dash of cardamom. Stir to mix. Drink while hot! *If you wanted to serve this as an after-dinner drink, an added touch of bourbon makes it super special.

Drinking this coffee when it is cold outside is sure to bring some holiday warmth to the season. Drinking this coffee while it is cold inside, well, suffices.   

El Nino or not, this weather can’t last forever, right? And if it really is the zombie apocalypse, well, at least we’ll go while drinking something wonderful!  

Enjoy!

Paleo 101

12 Oct

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I like to entertain. Actually, when filing out the eHarmony personality profile years ago, “likes to entertain” was one of the things that found Rob and I compatible. In Oregon, with the close proximity of everyone in our neighborhood (well, really it was the close proximity of the width of the peninsula – there weren’t many miles to go before hitting water on either side!), we would entertain all the time. Big, late-into-the-night parties, simple girls’ nights, football get-togethers, I think once we may have even celebrated Groundhogs Day. Hey, it’s an American holiday, right?

Since moving to Jacksonville, we haven’t entertained as much. The deployments are constant, the distance from one end of Jacksonville to the other is over an hours’ drive, and we happen to live in the “country.” Which, I love, but it does make the trek out here a little long. But enough was enough. It was time for a girls’ night.

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After inviting a group of friends over, I was in the full get-together swing of things. The morning of the party started a little rocky with my homemade almond butter ending up on the ceiling (that little blender stopper dohicky thing is important), but the house was already decorated for the season, so the only thing left for décor was ironing napkins. Easy. For the menu, I kept true to my roots; seasonal is always best.  The weather has just started to change in JAX, exhibiting an autumnal breeze cool enough to notice there isn’t sweat running down my thighs for the first time in months.  So I thought a healthy comfort food meal would be perfect: white bean dip with cast iron nuts and stuffed bacon-wrapped dates for appetizers, and spaghetti squash with a veg ragu accompanied by a green bean, leek and apricot succotash as the main. The girls were generously bringing wine and dessert, so we were all set.

Green Bean Succotash

Martha and Ina would have been proud of my table (yay for pumpkin name plates!), and the dinner just smelled delicious. Everything was planned out swimmingly until, 5 minutes before the guests arrive, I freak out. Remembering that two of the girls coming were following a general Paleo diet, my gasp was audible. Here I am, with my veg-inspired background not at all following rule #1 of entertaining: serve what will make your guests feel special. AH! Paleo is meat-based, and the pepitas on my ragu isn’t going to cut it! Is there time to stuff a chicken in the oven? No…. Can I throw some salami on the squash? Hardly. With the doorbell ringing, I prayed to the veggie Gods for help, and the protein Gods for clemency.

My freak-out, like honestly most freak-outs, was just plain silly. We had such a good time, and the ladies loved the meal. Better than any food or wine that night was the amazing company and the growing of friendships. Which is truly the reason for any entertaining. We all had a lot in common and were able to share some pretty funny military wife stories. No boys allowed.

The Paleo diet did come up though, and after we said our goodbyes, I decided to do a little more research on the topic. So, as I sat in bed, eating a late-night dessert piece of sourdough with butter, I ironically read about the gluten, grain, legume, and dairy-free lifestyle. Through breadcrumbs on my night-shirt and with butter-licked fingers, I learned about the pros and cons of “primal” eating, and it truly inspired me.

Being one that focuses eating on a more flexitarian principle, I do experiment with different styles of cooking and eating, as long as it’s whole-food, seasonal, clean eating. So into the Paleo world I dove.

Remember the almond butter on the ceiling? Well, that was a small series of catastrophes that led to me throwing my hands up in the air (as opposed to my blender against the wall) on making homemade almond butter, and settled for almond milk instead. Loving plain almond milk but wanting to spice things up a bit, I let raw almonds, coconut chips, and a touch of maple syrup sit completely covered with water for 24 hours in the fridge. After it was blended and then strained, I was left with a beautiful, slightly naturally sweetened almond milk, and a hearty almond mash.

Almond Milk & Mash

The Paleo inspritation: almond cookies! Similarly to how I use my juicing pulp to make crackers, I couldn’t let the mash go to waste. So mixing in a quick dough of coconut flour, almond butter, a touch of maple syrup and the mash, I whipped up a crunchy and creamy Coconut Almond & Maple cookie that would leave even the biggest sweet tooth none-the-wiser. They are super easy to make, and even easier to eat.

Despite the flexitarian diet, the evening was such a blast and I look forward to the next time the girls get together. Only next time, I’ll serve marinated flank steak, and these cookies for dessert!

Enjoy!

Paleo Almond Cookies

Almond, Coconut, & Maple Cookies
(makes 12, 2-in cookies)

  • ½ c almond butter
  • ½ c almond mash left over from making Sweetened Almond Milk
    • (almond milk: 16 oz. raw almonds, ¼ c coconut chips, & 1 tbsp good maple syrup – let sit completely covered with water for 24 hours – blend completely, then strain through cheesecloth or a fine-mesh sieve for almond milk. Save the leftover mash for these cookies)
  • ¼ c coconut flour
  • ¼ c good maple syrup
  • 1 egg
  • ¼ tsp salt
  • ¼ tsp almond extract

Preheat oven to 375 degrees.

Mix all ingredients together until incorporated, only about a minute. Using spoons, or a small ice cream scoop, spoon onto parchment paper or a silicone mat on a half-sheet pan.  Push down to make the cookies even.  Top with a sprinkle of sea salt, and *optional: a piece of roasted coconut.

Bake until golden brown and crunchy on the outside, and chewy on the inside, about 25 minutes. Let cool, serve, and devour.

Enjoy!

Happy 100th!

18 Jul

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Blogging is a strange avenue of expression. It is an open can-of-worms of opinions, expressions, and not at all approved, edited, or formatted by any professional publisher. In my case, recipes are created, enjoyed, and un-tested by a professional chef. No one is making money off my blog or my food (while I’d like to!), but yet it puts everything out there – one big $5.99 Vegas buffet loaded high with my cooking style, writing style, personal stories, and cooking tips and antidotes.

Thinking about it, rather than a Vegas buffet, writing a blog is more like checking out at the drug store. Continue reading

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